Cupcakes and Sunshine

2 Months

2012-01-15T21:53:00.000-08:00

Little man, you're amazing! At 2 months, you coo like a dove and are starting to develop an adorable giggle. Your smile lights up the room and melts my heart. You are amazing relaxed, unless you're on your belly and, though we've struggled, are finally getting some delicious rolls and are now formula free. I can't tell you how much joy you bring to our lives and I can't wait to see what you have in store for us.

Christmas Highlights

2011-12-25T13:12:00.000-08:00

Christmas alone with 4 kids is INSANE!!! Seriously, nutty... Though I will own to having a mini-meltdown, it's been amazing and fun and so nuts, it's both a relief and slightly bittersweet that it is almost over.

1 Month Old

2011-12-15T19:16:00.000-08:00

My, how time flies... Ro-noceros is officially 1 month old and more than just a little bit adorable. He is full of social smiles, coos like a precious dove and has shown an uncanny ability to replicate T-rex's zombie growl. He loves to sleep, be cuddled and to be read to. He joins T-rex and I nightly for her bedtime story and seems very drawn to the cadence of Dr. Seuss.

He is still struggling to gain and I'm still struggling to produce enough for him to eat. He weighed 10 pounds even at his last appointment... A vast improvement, when you factor that he started at 9lb 6oz and then went down to 8lb 1oz. I wish I could take credit for all of it with the mighty powers of Mother's Milk... but we're getting a lot of help from his 2 daily servings of Similac. As long as he's fed, I'm cool. I refuse to let my ego prevent him from being as fat and happy as he is meant to be.

I cannot fathom how we ever got through the day without his sweet little face. I cannot wait to see what sort of person he will turn out to be and am so grateful that, as of now, he's a pretty chill little man. He has seamlessly integrated into our family. T-rex loves him and has shown a surprising amount of patience for him and I am cherishing every day with him. I could not have asked for a more perfect little person.

Saying "See You Later"

2011-12-10T16:39:00.000-08:00

Timing is a funny... It's either perfect or horrible. There just doesn't seem to be much of a middle ground. When I first discovered we were pregnant with Ro-noceros, I thought the timing was PERFECT! The husband was supposed to be transferring to a new command for shore duty right around the time I was due and he'd be able to be home more to help and bond with the baby... And then the hammer dropped and we realized that, not only was he not transferring, but he was due to deploy right before my due date.

See? Crappy timing. But, we buckled down and worked things out so that Daddy could meet his little man and be around to help me for a little bit. The only stickler was that we'd eventually have to face the fact that this deployment was going to happen and that we'd have to face the fact that Dan was going to miss a good chunk of Ro-noceros' first year of life. So we packed in as much quality time as we could and prepared to say, "See you later".

Getting in some quality cuddles

The hardest part in all of this was preparing T-rex for the fact that Daddy was going to leave for a while. Being 3.5, her concept of someone leaving her little world makes this transition delicate, as it piggybacks on the baby's arrival and will soon be followed by my starting back to work and reopening the daycare. We each spoke to her and she seemed okay, but I did notice she was playing in odd places and that a lot of her stories had to do with someone leaving and being gone. Heartbreaking and endearing all at once.

In the laundry room with her Sailor Bear, wearing Daddy's hat

The day finally arrived to take Dan to the airport. His flight left SOOOOO early, hence why T is still in pajamas. We tried to make our farewell meaningful, sweet and quick... I think we succeeded. We hugged, kissed, cried a little and then said, "See you later" and waited for him to get through the line at security before we turned around and left for home. Surreal doesn't begin to describe that drive home.

So now, we're a week into deployment and we're faring pretty well. T-rex is adjusting, though she has her moments where she's just a hot mess. Ro-noceros is still having issues gaining weight and we're struggling to keep our nursing relationship, but he's just about the easiest baby on the planet, which makes for a happy mommy. Every day is a reminder that we are stronger than this deployment!

Every day brings you closer to home, babe. Love you!

Finally!!!

2011-11-30T16:10:00.000-08:00

So, though no one but me actually cares about this, I finally got Ro-noceros in for his newborn photo shoot... I have always managed to get this done at 1 week of age, but with our daily trips to the hospital, I just blew it off until today.

Without further ado and only a week late, I present his official first portraits:

New Baby Bliss

2011-11-29T19:02:00.000-08:00

Well, mostly. Ro-noceros has proven to be practically perfect in every way. He's the perfect bookend to our family, is soft and cuddly and makes my heart melt with his every breath. We feel so very lucky to have him home and in our arms, even if we've had to fight every moment to keep him there.

He is now 2 weeks old and we've spent nearly every single one of those days transporting him back and forth to the hospital for weight checks and sessions with the lactation consultant because he lost nearly 13% of his birth weight. We've tried everything from supplementation at the breast with a syringe to finger feeding to pumping and bottle feeding and nothing was really making a huge impact until the LC miraculously diagnosed him with a tongue-tie.

We had it corrected the very next day, but we're still struggling to help him sort out how to use his new tongue. I've begun to wonder if this is worth the battle, which is not normal for me. I'm usually far more tenacious. I just want him to be fat and happy and our 2 hour+ nursing sessions are not leaving either of us satisfied. My heart aches that this is becoming such a battle... I just want my baby to be fed!

Our Newest Addition

2011-11-17T19:21:00.000-08:00

Born 11/15/11 at 11:54am 9lbs 6oz

This pregnancy flew by... and I do mean it flew. I guess that's just what happens when you're running a busy family and a daycare. Not complaining, I enjoyed my pregnancy. It was, save for a few kinks, really easy and picture perfect, up until 38 weeks.

After confirming that the baby was, in fact, fairly large, my blood pressures started to go all out of whack and I ended up getting diagnosed, once again, with pre-eclampsia. Paired with the big baby and the stress on my body and the husband's upcoming departure, my mid-wife said it wasn't in my best interest to labor and requested I submit to a repeat c-section. To say I was upset is an understatement, but I agreed and we scheduled the surgery the following week.

At 39 weeks 1 day, Ro-noceros was brought into the world... All 9lb 6 oz of him. He cried right away and it melted my heart and made me cry because I still hadn't seen him yet. After a minute or so, it was evident something wasn't quite right and the voices over by the warming table had gotten awfully quiet. Seems R's nose was flaring oddly and they were concerned about excess fluid, which isn't uncommon for c-section babies. It was enough to send my heart racing, though as I laid there on the table completely helpless when my son needed me.

He was given the all clear and he left with his daddy to go get cleaned up and checked out. I was left behind to get closed up and then I joined my boys in the recovery room. The total time we were apart was less than 1 hour and he was handed over to me as soon as I was transferred to the bed. He latched on the minute I placed him to my breast and my heart just filled with so much joy at this little miracle we'd been blessed with.

He has proven to be a sweet and relaxed baby, thus far. His big sister adores him and his older siblings cannot wait to meet him. We're home and relaxing now and looking forward to each new day.

Halloween Hyjinks

2011-10-31T20:55:00.000-07:00

Once again, Samhain is upon us and we lived it up as only we could. The best part about this year is that T-rex was super into it and we had a whole month of anticipation on her part with which to have fun. It was so cool to watch her get into the holiday and to choose her own costume (same one as last year) and decorate her little pumpkin that she picked all by herself at the pumpkin patch. She had trick or treating down to a science and remembered (mostly, anyways) her manners and thanked everyone how gave her a treat. The only thing we added this year was adding the legend of The Sugar Sprite Fairy to our routine. We gave her all our candy and she'll, in turn, leave T-rex a special treat the next morning. I can't wait to see her little face when she sees the gift and I can't wait for next year when we can add Jellybean to the equation. :D

She's Got Style, She's Got Flair

2011-10-08T09:36:00.000-07:00

Under Construction

2011-10-04T10:44:00.000-07:00

So after what feels like forever, I'm back to blog about everything that's been going on with us lately. August flew by in a whirlwind. The older kiddos got to stay for my birthday, which almost never happens, then they left and we prepared for baby and moved into a bigger house. All this was done in between Dan's hectic work schedule, my 70 hour daycare weeks and a plethora of unscheduled interruptions. Life, it's crazy... ya know?

Anyway, so I mentioned that we've moved. Well, we did! We're still in San Diego, but 2 miles further east of where we were in a much older house that only shares one wall with a neighbor. Not ideal, but SUCH a nice change from where we were. We now have a 4th bedroom, which is being readied for Jellybean's arrival in November. We also have a much smaller kitchen, but, surprisingly, it works for me... even if my pantry is around the corner in the hallway. It's all about adapting. LOL

The biggest change brought by the new house was an area that is now exclusively set aside as a daycare room. Originally designated as a "Dining Room", I've made the most of a small space and have found that it's well suited to corral 4 toddlers, 1 very pregnant adult and 2 small infants for 11 hours a day.

The only thing not pictured is the lettering above the table where we display our artwork. The kids seem to love their space and, frankly, so do I. This is easily one of my most favorite rooms in the house.

The house is still being put together, slowly. I'm hoping we can show off the nursery soon. :D

At The Beach

2011-07-24T15:52:00.000-07:00

Nothing quite says "Summer" than a trip to the beach. Well, perhaps there is something else depending on where you live, but... We live in San Diego and so the beach pretty much sums it up. Don't hate, it's all about geography. :D

Anyway, today, we decided to join some friends and head down to a sandcastle competition. It was pretty cool, terribly crowded and we got to see cool things like this dude's headgear.

"yeah, I'm damn cool!"

But, honestly, the best part of the day was watching the kids play in the surf. Major beach fail on the adults part for not bringing suits, but hey... That never seems to stop the littles, now does it! They were in the water quicker than you can blink. T-Rex did well with the "Don't go in past your ankle" rule, though that was only because the waves made her nervous. But, we managed to get Sadie to finally stay in one place and I highly recommend this method if you happen to have a never still child.

Yep, that's right... Our "fail proof" method is to bury said child in super wet sand. WIN!

After seeing the castles and sculptures being built, we headed to the street to see what was being offered up... Mostly street food (NOM! GYROS!!!) and ska music from a slightly off-center band, but the kids had a blast dancing around. There is something so magical in watching a child dance. They're so insanely free of worry about what their bodies are doing or who may be watching.

We made it back down to the water briefly to see the castles and let the kids play a moment more before realizing THAT was sheer insanity, given the size of the crowds. We had to practically drag our exhausted kids off the beach and then pull their little selves through crowds to make it back to the vans. It was a long walk and I'm so proud that not a single complaint was heard (though that could have been because of the noise level) from the kids.

Halfway!!!

2011-07-07T21:32:00.000-07:00

I'm now officially 20 weeks and 3 days and feeling great. We went in to see our boy today and he's getting mighty big. I'm officially measuring ahead and Jellybean is very proud of being male. He is also jackknifed inside my belly, with his legs over his head, much like Torryn was at this point. Extremely active and healthy and adorable. Can't wait to meet him.

Growing To Fast

2011-06-12T08:02:00.000-07:00

Just when I think she can't possibly be any more amazing, T-rex surprises me by changing, seemingly overnight. Wasn't it just yesterday that she was my sweet itty bitty baby? Now she is this walking, talking, joke-making prankster with an infectious laugh and a ready smile. She just amazes me more with each passing day.

We've been unbelievably busy lately. Daycare, Dan's work schedule and the like have all culminated in to time whizzing by at an unreal speed. I didn't even realize how fast it was going by until I woke up with a round belly and realized I was already 4 months along, when I could have sworn we only just found out Jellybean was on his way. And because of this, I've been sort of demanding we slow down 1 day a week to just enjoy our family and our friends. Dan and I have even managed to sneak off for a date... It's been awesome.

Torryn has become a joke-telling machine. Her current favorites are knock knock jokes. Her two stand-bys are:

Knock Knock (Who's there?)
A stinky baby... (Stinky baby, who?)
A stinky baby toot! (Roars with laughter)

and

Knock Knock (Who's there?)
Interrupting cow! (Interrupt....)
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

It's a laugh a minute!

It's a boy!!!

2011-05-23T21:14:00.000-07:00

I'm exactly 14 weeks along today and we celebrated the day by going to Dan's re-enlistment and then an appointment with our midwife. She is awesome and I think I have a slight girl crush on her. After a brief lunch, we headed up to A Baby Visit for an elective ultrasound and imagine my surprise when Jellybean just wasn't in the least bit shy. We're over the moon to be having a boy, though Dan is still in shock. I can't wait to meet the little man.

Kookaburra Sitting In The Old Gum Tree

2011-05-18T13:40:00.000-07:00

Every Aussie friend of mine is going to laugh... but, I love kookaburras. No really, LOVE them. I'm sure my opinion would change if I had them nesting in the trees outside my home and laughing all day, but I just can't help myself. They're cool birds and that's saying a lot, because I mislike birds.

Our zoo has 2 kookaburras. They keep them separated in different sections so they don't sing all day. Doesn't stop people from attempting to get them going, though and apparently... the zoo keepers have an issue with that. So, in an effort to ease the teasing, they got Matilda going for a little demonstration and I was ever so lucky to get the chance to be there for the show. :D

Sing it Matilda!

Gymnastics

2011-05-06T15:08:00.000-07:00

One of the things I really worried about when contemplating starting an in-home daycare was that T-rex wouldn't be able to do anything "fun". Most dance classes or gymnastic classes for her age are held in the middle day. So when the opportunity arose to take the entire daycare to gymnastics for private lessons, I JUMPED at the chance.

You wouldn't know it to look at me now, but I spent 5 years in gymnastics, among several other activities. I still remember how much fun I had in the gym tumbling about on the floor. I so wanted that for T and knew it would be right up her alley, as she's a whirling dervish of activity. Though I worried about how well she'd do, she once again proved I'm a master of underestimation when it comes to her precious little self.

Did she follow all the directions? No, she sure didn't. But she did make every attempt to listen and try to do what was asked. I just know she'll do better and better as we continue to go back and it was so awesome to see her getting the chance to do something so well suited to her energy level.

Easter 2011

2011-04-30T15:56:00.000-07:00

A glimpse of the impatient 3 year old stalking her basket

Probably my favorite picture of the whole day

Egg hunt!

Easter was great. We ate like piggies, enjoyed time with one another and then got to hang out with amazing friends. It really doesn't get much better. T-rex was enamored with the day's events, finding over 50 eggs in about 10 minutes. The Easter Bunny brought her a Tinkerbell movie and a book all about being a big sister and the requisite bunny ears.

I can hardly imagine what it'll be like in the years to come when T-rex and Jellybean will be running about trying to get the most.

Still Growing Strong

2011-04-14T18:26:00.000-07:00

We went in today to have another look at Jellybean. Seems last time the doctor was concerned about a large cystic ovary, but the scan showed that was shrinking and they're not as concerned this time. The best part of the day was seeing our little baby big (relatively) and healthy. A strong heart beat of 182 and a serious umbilical cord and we even got a little glimpse of the legs kicking. Oh... Just so freaking wonderful!

Presenting Our Little Jellybean

2011-04-04T16:14:00.000-07:00

Today, I'm exactly 7 weeks along. After a slightly less than impressive u/s last week, we went in for a re-check and were so excited to see a very strong heart rate of 148. :D Looks like this little one is going to stay with us for a while. YAY!

Here We Grow Again

2011-03-26T16:30:00.001-07:00

The Party!!

2011-03-20T09:49:00.000-07:00

The candy hanging from the ceiling

Banner made by my loverly friend Megan!

Rainbow jell-o

The cake table

The flower shapes were provided by Megan and the rest was made by me

Torryn found a neat way to play with the stickers from her piñata

The insanely fun "Chocolate Unicorn" game

The best part of the game is the mess on everyone's faces

The big moment

Torryn's got the best daddy ever!

"Hooo-ye hoops"

Torryn's party was amazing. The theme was "Candylicious" and boy... let me tell you, it certainly was. There was candy EVERYWHERE! If you know me at all, then you know I just love a super chill party. Great friends, conversation and just letting the kids play together and I feel like all goes well. Thanks everyone for making it such an amazing day.

My T-Rex!

2011-03-18T18:04:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow marks the day you burst into our lives 3 years ago. I can't even begin to tell you just I've treasured every moment with you. You are simply joy and laughter personified... with just a splash of tiny terror to balance the scales.

At 3, you're a veritable whirlwind of energy. You are now able to tell us exactly what you want, how you feel when you don't get your way and delight us with your immense imagination. You astound me with your artistic ability and even more so that I can often tell exactly what your little creations are without you having to tell me. Your dances, jokes and tireless determination to try to score that extra "snack" make every day interesting and exciting. I'm so very blessed to get to call myself your mother.

This year has brought endless changes. Daddy was here... and then he wasn't.. until he was again. I brought daycare into your little world and you've slid through all these changes like a fish through water. I love that nothing phases you and that you seem so in tune with those around you. My heart melts when you wrap your arms around me and snuggle in for a cuddle and when you race toward the door the moment you hear daddy turn the knob. You're just so very special, baby. Please slow down, this year and those before it have gone by far to fast.

Happy Birthday!

*Photos taken by Kellie Roman Photography

My heart breaks for Japan

2011-03-12T19:52:00.000-08:00

It is no secret that Japan holds a very large part of my heart. Our time there was amazing and looked back upon with much affection. We still hold hope that we'll one day get to return. To wake up and see the news that such a major travesty unfolding invoked feelings of loss I can't even begin to describe. We still have friends there and have friends with family in and near the epicenter. Thankfully, they're all fine and I am so very grateful for that fact.

My heart breaks for you, Japan. Should you want to donate to disaster relief efforts through the Red Cross, visit Redcross.org to learn how. Or you can text "REDCROSS" to 90999 to donate $10, which will be added to your cell phone bill. You can also turn to this article in Time magazine for details of other organizations working to help people.

Pepper-noni Keet-za

2011-01-22T21:52:00.000-08:00

Goodness... It's been a little bit since I've updated things. The new year came in with the roar of a lion, bringing vast new changes to our lives. My in-home daycare in now open and I currently have 2 very sweet boys, along with T 5 days a week. Adjustments, to say the least, have been difficult. We went from being able to do as we pleased, to waking up at 5 and being extremely regimented in schedule.

One of the best parts of this daycare gig is "school". We take an hour or so every day to talk about letters, read books, do projects and just learn about the world all around. Last week, our "school" involved getting the kids excited about food. Our project: Pizza!

Torryn was all about this project. She loves to sit with me in the kitchen and we chatter about things. This was her moment to shine and she knew exactly what she needed to do.

She found cheese distribution to be the most time consuming part. At first, she arranged each shred in just the right place. It was adorable and she kept saying, "Dis one cheese goes here.".

Being carnivores, you can't forget the pepperoni.. Or as T says, "Pepper-noni". She opted for the solitary pepperoni method.

Into the oven they went and out came three beautiful pizzas.

Torryn ate hers with gusto and I was very happy to announce this project a success on all counts.

We Almost Forgot

2010-12-24T12:56:00.000-08:00

Christmas Eve is the day we do 90% of our Christmas traditions. We have our Christmas feast, make cookies for Santa and snuggle in to watch Christmas movies before trucking Torryn off to bed. This year, we did things just a little different, because we'd forgotten one thing we've always made a point to do well before Christmas Eve. What's that, you ask? We forgot to take Torryn to go see Santa, that's what!

Now, I know several of my friends who are rather hesitant about getting their kids all in to Santa and really, that's cool. I think every parent needs to find what works for them. I'm not one for religion, but have always loved the magic of fairy tales and I think Santa fits into that category nicely. We encourage our kids to believe in the magic that is Santa, knowing that when they begin to question his existence, that we can easily shift the focus to the spirit of giving, without dashing any hopes and dreams. Our older kids all get a great sense of joy playing up Santa for the two who still believe and that just warms my heart to no end.

So, back to the topic at hand. Our visit to see Santa was belated, but boy... Was it ever amazing. We got T dressed and took her down to the shopping center. Santa has a special bubble there where he sits and greets those who happen to pass by. She talked about "Fanta Laws" the whole way there and, with eyes open so very wide, happily said hello to him and climbed right up on his lap, giving him the biggest hug. He asked her what she wanted for Christmas and without missing a beat said, "I want a flying reindeer!" which got a huge belly laugh from everyone who could hear her. She spent a long time talking to Santa and left without a tear and told him to have a "Mewwy Isthmus" and happily trotted out the door. She's such a very special girl.

When we got home, I realized that this is the exact same Santa from last year. I thought he looked familiar.

Happy Holidays 2010

2010-12-17T15:53:00.001-08:00

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Found Some!

2010-12-12T14:22:00.000-08:00

"Christmas Spirit" that is... Just a bit, but it's enough for me right now.

The other night... Friday night, to be exact, I turned to Dan and said, "Listen, I think we need to go see some Christmas lights.". It was the opening night of "Christmas Card Lane" just up the freeway and seeing an entire neighborhood join together to bring joy to the season always gets me in the mood for Christmas carols and sugar cookies. To make a night of it, we loaded up in the van and stopped for a nice dinner before heading to Rancho Pennasquitos to see the lights.

Now, being that it was the very first night they were "live" and we were a whole 20 minutes early, I didn't know what to expect. But, to my surprise, most of the lights were on and we spent a glorious 15 minutes cruising through the streets listening to Christmas music and to Torryn's excited squeals of joy from the backseat. Though we took no pictures this time, we'll likely be going back soon with video in hand to catch some of it on film... It's just that cool.

Dear Christmas Spirit

2010-12-05T12:56:00.000-08:00

Where are you!?! No, seriously... Would you please, PLEASE pay me a visit? I'm finding myself lacking the ability to get into the season and I'm not really quite sure why. Perhaps, it's because the kids will not be with us this year... Perhaps it's because I could have sworn that Halloween was just a week ago. I don't really know, but I hope to snap out of it soon, as it's beginning to bother me.

We have a new tree this year, which I love. It's much smaller than our other tree and fits our small house so much better. It's pre-lit, which made for much less cursing as it went up. It gives the appearance that we have far more ornaments than last year, though we have added only 1 more to the collection. I thought having the tree up would snap me back into the holiday spirit... Still waiting, though.

Thankfully, my funk hasn't passed down to Torryn. She really seems to understand things this year and is always asking about Santa and wants to see Christmas lights. It's not uncommon to hear a chorus of, "OOOO, Mommy, yook!!! Ismas stuff!" continuously throughout the day. She's like a goldfish sometimes, every trip around the living room is like the first time.

So, please, Christmas Spirit, please bestow upon me that sense of wonder and contentment this holiday has always brought me. I miss that warm and fuzzy feeling. Love, me.

Giving Thanks

2010-11-25T22:18:00.000-08:00

I'm ever so thankful... For my children, who are healthy and happy. For my husband, for loving me and making me laugh and for my friends, who are simply awesome. We're so richly blessed, we have love and laughter and most of all, we have each other.

Today started like any other day, T and I woke up with the chickens and I got to work making breakfast. We watched the Parade on TV and danced like fools during the musical numbers. I felt super proud that I spent the last couple days prepping, because I didn't have to spend all day in the kitchen and actually got to spend time with the family.

There was a moment of panic when I realized my tablecloth was insanely wrinkled... but Torryn helped me sort that out.

Next thing I know, the turkey is ready... Thanks, Martha Stewart... You're guidance has once again produced a gorgeous bird. It did cook insanely fast, though, which worked out to our advantage. My mother in law has an insane work schedule and eating earlier allowed her to get home earlier and catch a decent amount of sleep before her next shift.

The meal was amazing and we ate until we were about to explode and had an amazing time doing what we do best... Teasing one another. Torryn decided the only thing worth eating was cranberry sauce and some potatoes, though she did eat a green bean when she thought I wasn't looking. Her favorite part of the meal was the pumpkin pie. In fact, I'm fairly certain that was everyone's favorite, as there's almost none left.

After dinner, Torryn regaled us with her TSA impression. And here I thought I was safe staying home this year. Seems I was wrong about that, huh? Oh and you'll notice there was a wardrobe change for me... Well, that's because you shouldn't attempt to cook several butter-laden dishes without wearing an apron (of which I have none) and try to hold a normal conversation with your family.

And, for your viewing pleasure... Here's the aftermath of Torryn's pumpkin pie fueled hysteria. I just love this kid's laugh.

Want 50 Free Photo Cards

2010-11-19T18:58:00.000-08:00

If you have a blog, then Shutterfly has a fab giveaway for you. They're running a fab offer right now. With a simple blog post and a tout on twitter or facebook, they'll give you a promo code for 50 free photo cards.

Let me tell you just why this is awesome. First of all, who doesn't love getting photo cards? I, personally, love them. I keep them on my fridge for months before filing them away and every year, it's fun to compare the previous year's cards to this years. Watching the kids grow before my very eyes, it's magical. They're my all time favorite product offered by Shutterfly. Here's a link to go check it out. :D http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/christmas-photo-cards

Shutterfly is awesome, if you didn't already know or couldn't tell from this post. I've been a devoted member for nearly 8 years and I love that, with the click of a mouse, I can find my photos all organized and ready for me to order. Plus, they're forever running great offers such as this one.

Here's the link to get started. :D

http://blog.shutterfly.com/5358/holiday2010-blog-submission-form/

The Art of Raising Girls

2010-11-17T22:38:00.000-08:00

I have a confession to make... I'm not the girliest girl on the block. In fact, I'm fairly certain I lack the genes to fully appreciate being a girl. It's not that I'm not feminine, I wear makeup, I bake, I actually know what a dress is, though I rarely wear one, I just tend toward being more casual. So when I knew I'd be the mother to a daughter, I sat and pondered for a good long time just how in the heck you go about raising girls.

You see, I never really did the girlie thing as a child. Sure, I had baby dolls and Barbies, but I also had horses to ride, mud puddles to jump in and a little brother who didn't much care to play dolls with me. My mom tried so very hard to get me to like girlie things. Heck, she even attempted to get me into beauty pageants, which ended after I decided my dress looked MUCH better with mud and horse hair on it. So just what is a tomboy supposed to do?

My biggest hurdle seems to be the "Princess" thing. Disney Princesses infiltrate everything from underwear to cups, so Torryn has known for a good long while that "Dos Pink Pwinchesses" are meant to be desired. She points them out and tells me all about princess dresses and that they kiss frogs and go to sleep after getting "owies". But I don't know if I like the idea that's the only image of what a "pretty woman" should be. I want Torryn to feel empowered and believe that she can be anything...

And, so far, so good... I suppose. Torryn prefers dinosaurs over diamonds and the few movies she really likes all seem to have empowered young women who don't prance around with crowns on their heads singing to talking animals. But I've noticed that those princesses are becoming more present in our home. She found Sadie's crown and scepter and runs around the house looking for frogs to kiss and just the other day, I found her wearing her crown and pretending to sleep and would only "wake" after I kissed her nose.

So... it begins, I guess, this pink and sparkly journey into girl-hood. Help me!

A Strong Foundation

2010-11-11T20:42:00.000-08:00

Before I became a parent, I sat and daydreamed about how awesome a parent I would be to my child. No TV, no junky toys, no junk food, we'd be totally zen.... Then I had kids and well... Let's just say I reevaluated some of my ideals. I think we're still on par with where I wanted to be and that the compromises I made didn't blow my entire ideal out of the water. But, no matter where I bend and where I stay rigid, the bottom line is still the same... I strive to provide a solid foundation for my kids.

I sort of look at raising kids like building a most epic block tower. If you just start stacking one on top of another..

You may get a super tall tower...

And it may look really awesome.. All high and swaying in the breeze. But with one good gust of wind...

Your tower will fall over and you'll have to start all over again.

It's not always about making sure your kids have all the latest toys, gadgets and things. I would like to think that it's all about enjoying the days as they blow past, because before you know it... those days are gone.

Silent Sunday

2010-11-07T16:08:00.000-08:00

All Hallow's Eve

2010-10-31T20:17:00.000-07:00

Halloween is ultimately my most favorite holiday... Nothing else tops it. Our decorations go up promptly Oct. 1st and we revel in ghoulish crafts and activities all month long, gearing up for the big day. This year was no different, really. We've waited all month and it's finally here and we're having a blast.

Saturday, we went to a Halloween party. I was "Static Cling", Dan was a giant and T was a pirate. We had so much fun just hanging out with our friends.

Today, we started the morning right... With spooky pancakes and pumpkin carving. This year was the the first time I ever took a power tool to a pumpkin. I won't lie... I may never go back to those insipid little pumpkin carving kits again. :D

Then, it was time to Trick or Treat and, my word, was T ever ready to go. She had the routine down pat and was sweet as pie as she collected her loot. We only hit a few houses before heading home, where I promptly inspected her stash and added it to the pot to give to the trick or treaters that came to our house. Ha! We're mean like that.

Happy Halloween!

Dearest Megan

2010-10-29T18:28:00.000-07:00

Though I may be called a "Copy Cat", I feel compelled to tell you just how very much you mean to me. But first, let me tell you what you are not: You are not a goldfish, nor are you a potted plant. You are not slow-minded, preachy, dishonest and you are very much not a person filled with spite. And because you are none of those things, you are my friend, my sister and, last but not least, in my heart forever more.

You are the woman who flew, with her 14 month old, halfway across the country to visit with me. You are the woman I turn to when things are sucky and I need to be held up by the collar and reminded that things are not all bad. You are honest to a fault, completely self-confident and often so logical, I have to double check that you are not the reincarnation of Spock. It is because you are all these things that you are my friend, my sister and, last but not least, in my heart forever.

You allow me to be me, even though you may not understand where I'm coming from, without judgment or angst. You love me for me and since that's all I can be, it makes me love you even more than T-rex sized chocolate cupcakes with bright orange icing. And trust me, that is a LOT!

Each New Day

2010-10-22T16:00:00.000-07:00

Brings reminders of why I should be thankful for what we have. We have 4 healthy happy kids, one which we get to watch grow, play and learn every day. We have fabulously sweet and wonderful friends, who are always there to offer us a shoulder to cry on or a joke to make us laugh. We have each other, to hold on to and cry, to rely on and to remember that things will get better. Very blessed are we, not going to lie.

Today, we spent the day inside, as I'm just not yet ready to face the world. However, this means finding ways to occupy and entertain Torryn that does not involve sitting mindlessly in front of the tv all day. This was accomplished by some spur of the moment arts & crafts, hide & seek and pink princess tent.

T's Jack 0'Lantern

Wonder where Torryn is hiding?

Bat Girl!

The bat wings... Oh, how I wish you could have seen the commotion over those flimsy pieces of paper. As you can see, we have the windows open to enjoy the cool weather. Torryn, being completely oblivious to modern modesty, seems to think it's ok to run around sans underwear, pants and her shirt, depending on her mood. She kept getting up in the window and pulling her shirt front over her head, holding her arms out and screaming about her "bat wings", so I made her these on the fly and she wore them for about 20 minutes yelling "Torryn a bat!"

Life is hard, but Oscar Wilde said it best when he said "What to us seem as bitter trials are really blessings in disguise."

Sometimes The Sunshine Fades

2010-10-20T11:16:00.000-07:00

And the clouds set in and even the tastiest cupcake tastes like sand and glue. I was so overjoyed when we discovered we were pregnant, that it never occurred to me that something could go wrong. Even when I was confronted with multiple signs that things were wrong, I forged on with blind determination that our little baby would be strong and grow and be healthy. However, it turns out, I was very wrong.

We are now faced with mourning the loss of a little life we so desperately worked to create. Friends and family are being great, but I just feel so empty. I want nothing more than to turn back time and make this go away. It is a bitter consolation to know we found this before anything worse happened, though I'm thankful I was being monitored so closely and that crises was avoided, narrowly.

To those who've offered consolation and empathy, your words and actions have been a great salve to my broken heart and I very much love you all. Thank you for all of your support.

Pumpkins Pumpkins Everywhere

2010-10-11T21:19:00.000-07:00

Today, we took our annual trip to Bate's Nut Farm to play amongst the pumpkins. I love that we get to impart to Torryn something I always held so dear to my heart. This is just about the coolest place to be in October, petting zoo, pony rides, goats to feed and, of course, PUMPKINS! I won't bore you with commentary, but please enjoy a few (and I do mean a few) of the pictures we took today.

Silent Sunday

2010-09-26T13:32:00.000-07:00

Remember Those Food Issues?

2010-09-21T22:03:00.000-07:00

Apparently, they're on hiatus. The last 2 weeks, Torryn has been eating just about anything I put in front of her. The pic above is her devouring my portion of salmon after she devoured her own. I'm sure this is, by no means, the end of our battles, but it's been a nice reprieve.

In other news, we've been BUSY!!! Play groups, parties, friends and gearing up for this fall/winter's hat making extravaganza, just for starters. Somehow, in the midst of it all, Torryn has moved completely out of diapers during the day and is now officially 100% in big girl underwear. She has proven that she is ready by attending a birthday party and going to to zoo and not having a single issue. The diaper backpack has been replaced with a purse large enough to tote around a spare set of clothes and a snack bag along with all my other womanly detritus. It was a near effortless transition. I'm so very proud.

Dan will soon be back to work on an actual ship again after a month of easy duty. I miss him being around to help with the mundane things in our daily routine. Shopping with that extra pair of hands to hold T's is rather nice, not going to lie. But, work beckons and with it comes the hectic schedule, long days and duty nights. *Le sigh* This is slightly easier to deal with now that we have a second vehicle, but we will still miss not having him home most of the day.

As for me, well... As I mentioned, I'm busy. Fall is officially here tomorrow and that means my hat business will be picking up. On top of that, I'm in the process of opening a home daycare. I'm about halfway there and am hoping to be open by November. It's been an involved process and I've hedged more times than I can count, but in the grand scheme of things, our family will benefit greatly and make our 5 year plan even closer to being achieved.

Okay, break time is over... back to work. :D

Attack of the Clones?

2010-09-12T20:44:00.000-07:00

Going through a few things today and came across a couple pictures that made me do a bit of a double take. There's no doubt that Torryn resembles me, anyone can see that and we hear it often from just about everyone, but this should cement that fact, once and for all.

Torryn, age 2.5

Me, age 3

UNCANNY!

Eat Your Peas!

2010-09-05T14:34:00.000-07:00

"My Bu eat my peas, mama! Nom nom nom!"

Food... Torryn seems to have a love/hate relationship with the stuff. Back when she was a wee little thing, I lovingly made all of her baby food and she gobbled it all down with gusto... Even beets! There wasn't anything she wouldn't eat and I was just so proud of my healthy little eater. I patted myself on the back more than a few times, thinking that by expanding her palate early on, that would surely mean she'd have a varied palate later in life.

As she graduated from purees to more hearty mashes and finger foods, I kept up with the varied food selections and once again, she responded by gobbling everything in sight. Her favorites being salmon, tilapia, broccoli and sweet potatoes. As she hurtled the distance from 1 to 2, I again thought I had worked a miracle and avoided that infamous toddler "picky apple" syndrome. Boy, was I wrong!

Around 18 months of age, T decided she hated all veggies. It was, literally, an overnight change. I shrugged it off and persevered... I refused to buckle. The peas she used to so loving shovel into her mouth sat cold on her plate, broccoli wasn't even allowed on her plate and heaven help me if I even so much as thought to put a bean, cheese, egg or a piece of chicken on her plate, because that would trigger the coming of the apocalypse. I was frustrated, she was frustrated and starting to lose weight. But still, even in the face of toddler rebellion, I kept fighting the good fight and dutifully kept serving my little princess foods that ended up just sitting cold and alone on her plate.

Fast forward to now, Torryn is 30 months old and until just recently... she was still a picky little apple of a kiddo. Over the past year, she's conceded defeat and began eating a bit of chicken, cheese and some eggs. She even *gasp* began to eat red meat on occasion (a full year earlier than her brother and sister did), but veggies were hit or miss. We've been supplementing with SuperFood and vitamins and I hide veggies in the few things she'll actually eat and I just hope that the day she finds her veggie love will come back sooner rather than later. She occasionally teases us by eating peas by the handful, as if they were candy and she has always eaten more fruit that you could ever imagine. I guess I just breed picky eaters... thankfully, I've twice proven that fades with age. See, hopes springs eternal!

Best Buddies

2010-08-27T22:21:00.000-07:00

There is something so special about a father's relationship with his daughter, don't you think?

These two are like two peas in a pod.

We've been exceptionally lucky since Dan came home. He's actually had some time off, which we enjoyed fully. And now that he is back to work, his current schedule is very light, so we're soaking up some much needed love and attention. Torryn is loving it!

Daddy is the first person she looks for in the morning and most of our conversations revolve around where Daddy is now and what is he doing and when he will be home. The minute he walks through the door, she wants him to go outside so they can lay on the patio and talk about whatever... Some of the funniest conversations have been about space. She'll lay on her back and point to the sky and say "Dat's space" and Dan will tell her that it is the sky and that space is just beyond and she usually follows that with "Oooo, space is awesome." *melt*

I look upon these two and my heart just swells seeing how in tune they are with one another. They relate to one another so differently than she and I relate and it's so much fun to watch their bond grow stronger by the day.

Child Labor

2010-08-24T19:41:00.000-07:00

One of my most favorite and most aggravating things about having a 2 year old is the effusive desire they have to help you in every.single.thing.you.do. From helping me unload the dishwasher, unfolding all the laundry, making the bed to "helping" daddy with yard work, Torryn does each with gusto unrivaled in these parts.

It's so great to see her grasping basic concepts like house and yard work. We take each opportunity to teach her something new and her eager little brain soaks it all up. Just yesterday, I was cleaning the downstairs bathroom and she jumped right in and handed me the towel, took the spray bottle and spritzed everything in her path, including me and helped me rearrange the little vase of flowers in there. Did it take me 11ty billion times longer to get done? Absolutely... But, it was a moment of fun and bonding as I explained how to wash the mirror and let her have a turn, though I did draw the line at letting her actually clean the toilet.

If you take a closer look at this photo, you'll realize that she is officially a chonis wearing girl and is no longer in a diaper. We've been putting more emphasis on potty learning this past month and recently, it just clicked with her that underwear are NOT diapers. She still prefers to be naked, but can now successfully navigate the clothing to get to the potty and we've not had many accidents. Self-led potty learning is aces in my book.

Dear Torryn

2010-08-20T22:27:00.000-07:00

If I could freeze time, I don't think I could have found a more perfect set of memories than the ones captured in these photos. You are sunlight personified, music in motion and dreams come true. Though I know you are racing forward, I sometimes wish I could slow you down to enjoy this stage in your life. You are exploring everything, describing what's around you and getting to share this time with you is magic. You are the reason I smile.

Love, Mommy

Shortly after Dan arrived home, we had the double blessing of getting to spend a wonderful early afternoon with my dearest, sweetest and oldest friend, Carlin and her two gorgeous little girls. Carlin is a phenomenal photographer and was sweet enough to use those skills to capture these photos and a few others I haven't decided to share just yet, though you can be sure they're coming soon.

We had a wonderful time at Lake Poway, sharing a picnic and letting the girls explore the park, trees and feeding the ducks. I love days like this, simple, wonderful and full of memories I can think back upon on those days when I need a little pick me up. It's days like this that I hope Torryn holds dear in her little treasure box of childhood memories.

One More Day & A Wake-up!

2010-08-01T11:49:00.000-07:00

My heart is thrumming, I cannot sleep. I want to jump out of my skin, I'm SOOOO excited. Excited for things to be more normal, excited not to be alone with only my toddler and my thoughts, excited to hug something besides my pillow at night... Did I mention that I'm excited? Because, just in case you were wondering... I'M EXCITED!

She Blinded Me With Science

2010-07-23T16:25:00.000-07:00

Our last fun thing of the summer was a trip to the Ruben H. Science Center. The girls had an absolute blast getting their hands on everything. Sadie kept telling Torryn everything was "magic" and all T could say about that was "Ta-Da!". I really couldn't have asked for a more perfect end to our time with Sadie... though if I could ask, I'd ask for that time never to end at all.

Wild!!

2010-07-12T18:48:00.000-07:00

Sunday, the girls woke up to find Grandma has camped out on our floor. They subsequently woke her up and after eating our wait in waffles, decided to run them ragged at the Wild Animal Park. Funnily enough, we didn't see that many animals... The play areas there captured their attention, so we just played.

The wood T is playing with has got to be the coolest blocks I've ever seen. They were made at the park out of a tree branch that had to be pruned. They captivated the kids and I would have loved to bring them home. It was so cool to see Torryn and Sadie using their imaginations to build houses and whatever else happened to occur to them.

Sadie had a blast dressing up. We even managed to get T in a lion costume, but she shrugged it off before I could take a picture. That made me sad, because T was SOOO cute! She had a blast making it roar at people. Sadie wanted T to play jungle with her, but of course, T had no interest in any sort of structured play.

Torryn was in heaven when she found the animal table. Many of the figures were the same as the animals we have at home. She spent plenty of time making the little giraffe ride on the big giraffe's back and making the elephants kiss. Then she spent several happy moments organizing the rest of the animals into straight lines. All the hippos in one line and all the polar bears in the other.

We ended the day jumping on the lily pads at the "lake" in the center of the park. It was a great day and we had a ton of fun.

Growing

2010-07-07T18:31:00.000-07:00

Where is my baby? Who is this big girl who tests the boundaries I have laid out for her, races ahead at full speed in everything she does and waits for no one or nothing? Torryn is now nearly 28 months old. She is speaking more, expanding her imagination, singing songs and as of just recently... playing with the light switches.

I laugh as she goes to leave a room and say "Yight off" and stretches as far as she can to flip the switch. My little conservationist is starting early. She will turn the light on as we go down the hall and turn it off again when we reach the end. It's funny to see her mimicking things I do everyday, be it turning on the lights, putting her animals to bed, singing to her baby or talking on the phone with her daddy. She's growing up... where's the pause button?

Sometimes

2010-07-05T22:21:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I realize that my life is just far to sane for my own liking. This can be a very dangerous thing, you see, because then I end up doing something unbelievably insane to mix things up... Like deciding to take my slightly overactive 2 year old to the movies the day after the 4th of July. Now either of those two components alone aren't crazy... but pair them together and things get dicey. Throw in the brilliant idea of bribing said 2 year old to sit in her seat by offering her Reese's Pieces... well, there ya go... INSANITY! lol

Actually, I'll be honest... It wasn't all that bad. Torryn was really very good. She did try to conspire with the toddler in the row ahead of us, but she sat and watched Toy Story 3 mostly quietly and mostly in one place. She did get a little upset when the lady 3 seats from us tried to scoot by us. She split my lip pretty well, but she said sorry and went back to being a sweet little girl.

The movie was hilarious, Torryn was good and Sadie laughed so hard that I was really glad I didn't get her a soda before the movie started. I'm glad we went, but I think T needs a few more months to mature a bit before we go again... or at the very least, I need my lip to heal.

4th of July

2010-07-05T22:13:00.000-07:00

We had a pretty awesome day, if I do say so myself... BBQ with some great friends, a trip to the night time zoo and then we drove up the hill from our house and watched 7 fireworks shows all at once. Soooooo cool!

I hope your 4th was full fun, love and laughter.

Jump!

2010-06-27T15:28:00.000-07:00

We only have Sadie for 42 days... This means that we try to cram as much fun stuff into that short amount of time as possible. It seems like the summer is always GO GO GO with us. I think some of it is some sick competition with my mom to make the kids think I'm this fun-loving, awesome mom, because I go out of my way to make sure we have as much fun as possible. Realistically, all it does is exhaust me, but it does afford us some awesome picture opportunities.

I love this picture!!! In case you don't recognize it, this is the bounce in the New Children's Museum. The girls and I took a quick trip down there last week for some much needed creative enlightenment.... and some time spent just running them both ragged, not going to lie. Torryn loves this bounce. I'm serious... She LOVES it! She cries when her turn is up and then spends the rest of the time between turns trying to sneak back in. Girl just wants to have fun.

Sadie had a real feel for the block table. I wish I had gotten a picture of the creation she ended up building. The thing was holding itself together by sheer will. Sadie informed me it was Howl's Moving Castle. I just love her imagination. I think she stayed at this table for nearly an hour just building different things and telling me stories about them.

Torryn got in on the building action, as well. She had this tower about 12 blocks high before it fell and she just laughed and laughed. I have no doubt she delights far more in the destruction than in the construction. It's cute to see her so engrossed in something for so long. It reminds me that she's growing up into this amazing girl, rather than this cute little baby I once cuddled in my arms.

I will say that the biggest hit of the whole day was the clay table. Sadie managed to con the attendant into molding her a bear, a pig and a bee hive, whilst Sadie made platforms for them to stand on. We left with a clay menagerie. Torryn wasn't really feeling the clay and instead opted to paint the big whale they have on the same deck. She was covered in yellow paint by the time we were through, but she was happy and really... that's all that matters.

Natural History Museum

2010-06-26T20:56:00.000-07:00

As a kid, I remember summer being a time to just laze about, hang with friends and cruise through the museums. I used to love going to the museums, there was so much to see and to learn. It was like walking through time and is something I have always tried to share with my kids. This summer, we started with the Natural History Museum.

The minute we walked in, Torryn was entranced. She wanted to see and touch everything. She even enjoyed looking at the snakes they had on the main floor. *blech!* It is so neat to see her so interested and soaking up everything she sees and touches.

We took a quick trip downstairs to see the gems and crystals on exhibit. There were some GORGEOUS items on display, but we couldn't take pics of most of exhibits, but Sadie* really liked this one amethyst geode. It was just about as big as her.

After seeing the rest of the museum, we stopped in the gift shop where we were attacked by a savage dinosaur. Nearly ate my arm, it did.

We risked sitting down for lunch, despite rumors of a t-rex roaming about. We spotted the monster whilst we ate our PB&J sandwiches. It seemed far more interested in the people coming into the museum and we were left to finish our lunches in peace.

All in all, it was a great day. The girls had a great time and I did as well. We learned a lot and had a great time playing and exploring and really, who could ask for more?

*Saydie has recently decided to change the spelling of her name to "Sadie". She was with me when I wrote this entry and really enforced the new spelling. I just wanted to clarify so o one thought I spelled her name wrong. LOL

Sisters

2010-06-17T22:27:00.000-07:00

There is something so very special about the sisterly relationship Saydie and Torryn share. To say they're two peas in a pod really is an understatement. These two just click and have right from the start. Even with nearly 7 years between them, they are kindered spirits, with one lighting up the other and I hope it'll always be this way.

When Saydie is here, she is Torryn's whole world. The first thing she does when she wakes up in the morning is run to see her sister. And the last thing she does at night is hug her sister and say "Bye Daydie". And thankfully, Saydie feels the same way and relishes in all of Torryn's effusive affection. It is so nice to watch them conspire with one another and play... I wish it could always be this way.

Pool Party, Baby

2010-06-06T21:38:00.000-07:00

It's really beginning to start to feel like summer and that means it's time to head to the pool. Last year, Torryn was fearless and I had no reason to think things would be any different... And for the most part, I was right. We were hardly through the gate before she was in the baby pool. I put her wings on her and off she went, splashing and frolicking in the water, laughing the entire time.

She wasn't terribly keen on the big pool, though. Clung to me like a burr the moment we stepped into the water. On one hand, I'm relieved... Last year, she would charge into the water without hesitation or waiting for me to join her. But on the hand, I don't want her to fear the water. Hopefully, she overcomes this as the summer goes on.

Meanwhile, we'll stick close the kiddie pool until she gets her courage back. I have a feeling she'll find ways to keep it exciting.

Sweltering Saturday

2010-06-05T11:02:00.000-07:00

Tis hot in San Diego and it's only June. Torryn and I spend most of our day outside and by 10:30, relief from the heat was needed... I busted out popsicles and we sat and enjoyed the sun. Then it occurred to me, Torryn was sitting still and was in prime position to model a hat I made for her cousin. So I jumped up and grabbed the hat and the camera and came away with, what is arguable, the best picture I've ever taken of Torryn.

Happy Summer!

5 Years Ago Today

2010-06-04T20:13:00.000-07:00

I married my best friend, my rock, my everything. Dan, I loved you from the moment we met. You're calm when I am frenzied, you're comical when I'm sad and you've always been there to support me no matter what's been thrown at us. I don't know what I did to deserve such an amazing husband and father to our children, but I can honestly say that I'm glad I did.

Although we can't be together on this special day, the day we confirmed our love and joined our lives together, we're together in heart. I spent today with our precious little girl. I told her about how we met and stories of how we've spent the past five years. I told her that without you, she wouldn't be here and that I'm so grateful I met you. We ended the day with a dinner I'd have given anything for you to have been able to share. Every other word out of her mouth was "Daddy" and it made me feel just a little less sad, as if you were sitting there with us grinning from ear to ear.

I love you, babe.

She's An Artiste

2010-05-28T18:12:00.000-07:00

Daring mamas let their babies play with paint. Or at least, this daring mama did. Torryn loves art. It's deep and it's real. Crayons, pens, markers, stickers or paint, it doesn't matter the medium. If you hand her art supplies, she is instantly transformed into this pensive artist who's attention is solely engrossed into putting her vision on paper.

I busted out the paints on a whim a couple weeks ago and just let her go, thinking she'd be done in a matter of minutes. One hour later, she was still happily slapping paint onto the paper. I've never seen her quite so content and she's been painting almost daily ever since.

Reaping What We Sow

2010-05-28T15:48:00.000-07:00

Or more realistically, we're sowing what we'd like to reap.

Today, Torryn and I received an indoor garden set made by Green Toys. They're made from recycled plastics and other eco-friendly materials. I was very excited to see it sitting on our front porch and set to work setting it up so Torryn and I could garden.

Torryn just adores to get dirty. There's nothing remotely girlie about the way this girl loves mud and dirt. So this was right up her alley. She stood up and helped fluff up and then tamp down the soil.

We planted sweet basil, zinnias and teddy bear sunflowers. The zinnia seeds were the only ones I managed to get a picture of before they found their homes in the dirt.

Then cam Torryn's favorite part... Poking the seeds into the soil. She did so with gusto saying "Seed, POKE!" each time her tiny finger went into the dirt.

She actually cried a bit when she realized we were all done. We wished our little seeds luck in growing into big healthy plants and set our garden up in the kitchen window. It'll be neat to watch when they finally sprout.

Adventures In Potty Training

2010-05-24T22:42:00.000-07:00

Excuse the nakedness... We're venturing down that winding road of toilet training lately, so T is sans clothes most of the time we're home. There's really no pressure, but if she's willing, we roll with it.

Last night, Torryn decided that her time on the potty was best spent coloring. So we turned a toy bin into a make shift desk and she sat there for about 20 minutes, fully engrossed in her art. She didn't potty, but she did tell me, rather emphatically, that pee pee goes in the potty. So a connection has been made in her little mind.

Saturday night, she was obsessed with her "pay hose" I fashioned out of her blanket and the end table. She had to have her clothes off to play in there, apparently. I love this new sense of imaginative play. She was thoroughly offended when she accidentally soiled her fort, but went straight to her potty afterwards and we had a potty success. T was so excited, she jumped up and did a little dance. LOL

This picture has little to do with potty training, I just thought it was funny. She was actually sans diaper in this picture, but the reason I snapped it is that this is her "dwagon" face! She spent an hour playing dragons with me until she was roaring not just as a dragon, but with fits of laughter. This kid cracks me up!

Berry Cute

2010-05-24T17:14:00.000-07:00

Pardon the pun, but I felt it was fitting. Torryn and berries... what can I say? It's deep and it's real. There isn't a strawberry, blueberry or raspberry she would not devour. We're lucky we live in Southern CA, because berries are plentiful, cheap and always yummy. The berries we bought this week were enormous!!! Seriously, huge. A few were bigger than the palm of my hand and were they ever good.

True to form, Torryn can't leave the strawberries alone. After her nap last Thursday, she asked for a "bewwy" and demanded I "no cut" i5 for her. So I sliced off the top and handed it to her. It was so big she couldn't get any one part of it in her mouth, so she ate it like an apple.

I love my berry loving baby. It makes me so happy she'd rather have fruit than a cracker, cookie or fruit snack... not that she doesn't love those things, because she does, but they come in as a far second to those big beautiful berries.

Let's Play Pretend

2010-05-06T20:26:00.000-07:00

Torryn has just been full of fun new games, lately. Her newest obsession is dress up. Now, don't consider for a moment that she's off playing princesses and rocking the baby heels and jewelry. Nope, this girl prefers dressing up in her daddy's sweatshirts.

She insists on wearing the hood or "hat" as she likes to call it, then I have to wrap the sleeves around her waist and tie them tight and she treks around the house with her 'pak pak" of blocks and runs errands that include, but are not limited too grocery shopping, cleaning house or having a tea party.

She is increasingly fond of her little plastic shopping cart... I really wish she would sit in the cart when we actually went shopping as eagerly as she likes to sit in this little plastic contraption. I shall be super sad when it breaks, as we got it in Japan. So once it's gone, it's gone. But until then, this game is a fave.

Torryn has also rekindled her relationship with her baby, Lily Bethel. Don't laugh, that's the name she came with. Lily has been largely ignored for well over a year now, but T found her yesterday and has been increasingly interested in diapering, loving and feeding her baby. Tonight, I caught Torryn feeding Lily her cucumber. She placed a piece in Lily's hand, put some on her mouth and shouted "BITE! Nom, nom, nom!" Had me laughing for quite a while. :D

Kid Fest

2010-05-01T20:35:00.000-07:00

Today, T and I joined our friends Ashley and Jane at Kid Fest San Diego. It's an entire fair dedicated to creativity and imagination and it was truly an amazing day. There were so many things to do, they had inflatable pools set up filled with big rubber balls, a craft station, a mess zone (we stayed away from there today), imaginative play stations and just so many other things, I'd be here all night if I tried to list them all.

First things first, we went and played in the ball pits. Torryn and Jane had a great time throwing all the balls out and then having us toss them back in. I'm fairly certain they both could have stayed in there the whole day.

Then we hit up this really cute craft booth where the girls chose different sorts of confetti to put into a clear balloon, which was then blown up and put on a stick like a rattle. The girls thought they were the perfect toys to take to the next adventure... Campfire story time!!! There were several little tents set up and the girls chose one and a volunteer offered to read them a story and they, of course, said yes. They read a book about animals and the girls identified every animal in the book with gusto.

Listening to stories at the camp out was hungry work, so we wandered over to the Tea Time booth for some imaginary cookies and tea. The cookies were all made out of felt... but the real draw of this table was the sprinkles left behind by the cupcake decorating that had taken place shortly before we arrived.

After feasting on pilfered sprinkles, we went to the craft station. There were all sorts of little tables set up with various crafts, but the girls chose the one rife with markers, glue and scissors. Jane and Ashley turned a paper plate into a sparkly cake, whilst T and I colored and cut randomly at our discretion.

Jane and Miss Ashley

Then T discovered a whole new way to play with the stackable crayons. I must admit, I'm impressed with her precise manner in which she stacks everything. So it was less about making art than it was about finding all these crayon sticks. She only paused in her relentless pursuit when she found this tambourine, but then went right back to her search with the instrument firmly in one hand.

We had an amazing day and I'm so glad Ashley and Jane could come with us.

Hopstix

2010-04-30T20:08:00.000-07:00

Wednesday was just a very bad, no good, rotten kind of day. Whining toddler, dead computer, rained out trip to the zoo... you get the picture. So I stopped at the Marukai Market, affectionately known as "J-Mart" to pick up some comforting Japanese vittles in hopes of curbing the angst that was building. I settled on a package of futo maki rolls, inari zushi and a bottle of royal milk tea. Torryn was treated to a bag of pumpkin boro snacks and all was well, really.

After we got home, I made T some lunch and unwrapped my own. Because of the day we were having, I turned on a movie and we ate "picnic" style in the living room. Torryn was obsessed with my chopsticks and I do mean OBSESSED! So I asked her if she wanted chopsticks and she nodded and replied "HOPSTIX". I just about died from the cuteness of that and went to get her a pair of trainers we keep in the pantry and this is the cuteness that followed.

You Spin Me Right Round, Baby, Right Round

2010-04-24T08:24:00.000-07:00

Or, more realistically, I spun my baby right round. *sniffle* After 25 months and 4 days of rear-facing bliss, my baby has demanded her seat to be turned around so she can look forward to where she is going and not just where she's been. I wasn't quite prepared to make this transition, my goal was to keep her rear-facing until she hit 36 pounds and up until a few weeks ago, I really thought we'd make it. And then the fits started.

Now I know she's just turned 2 and that the fits are to be expected, but the violence of these fits grew exponentially. After nearly getting my lip split in two in the middle of the parking lot at Henry's I just knew I couldn't fight it anymore. Change was needed, no matter how hard I resisted. So we drove home, screaming toddler beating the seat as we went and the next day, I flipped her seat.

I am trying to keep a sturdy grasp on the fact that I exceeded the AAP recommendations and the fact that a happy baby= a happy mommy which = a safer driver. But I'm still sad. It's like admitting she's growing up and I don't recall ever telling her she could do that. Overall, I realize I'm being silly. Torryn with be fine, she's in an incredibly safe seat that is properly installed, I still can't get over how much more grown up she looks sitting back there.

/special shout out to the Just Tomatoes Just Gone Bananas snacks that she was very happily munching in her maiden forward facing flight.

My Baby Boy Is ELEVEN!

2010-04-23T07:59:00.000-07:00

How in the heck did that happen? I know it sounds so cliche, but it seems like just yesterday I could feel him moving in my enormous belly. So full of life and promise as he entered the world and so full of love as I cradled him in my arms. He is now this nearly grown man, almost as tall as me and full of dreams and hopes and utter boyness!

Carter still thinks girls are gross... only exceptions being me, my mom and Torryn. He has firmly declared that Torryn will be gross as she gets older, but the cuteness saves her for the moment. He is still obsessed with StarWars and Harry Potter and peppers me with endless questions on both subjects. He is still amazingly loving and kind and I couldn't have asked for a more perfect ~~little~~ big boy.

Carter, I miss you and love you more and more with each passing day. I am so grateful that I get to be your mom and I cannot wait to see where every day takes you.

A Desire For Privacy

2010-04-17T16:26:00.000-07:00

After thinking long and hard about things, I've decided to take my blog private. I'm not overly afraid of the big, bad wolf, but I started this blog to just remember our lives and share with friends and Dan when he's not around. I still want to share, but feel more comfortable doing so with just a modicum more privacy than is currently provided.

So here's the deal, I'm going private ~~April 24th~~. If you'd like to keep reading, please email me at shanniebananie78@gmail.com for an invite.

Ha, I lied... I just went ahead and made it private today. No special reason, just decided it was time.

Flutterbys

2010-04-16T14:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I took Torryn to the Wild Animal Park to see the butterflies in the Hidden Jungle exhibit. This was the very last week and I wanted to go so very badly. I was especially excited because T was a whole year older and had a new level of awareness in which to appreciate the exhibit than the year before.

Of course, the line was insanely long. We waited in line for well over an hour and T did SO very well. There was a park employee daring people to try something new... a dry roasted chipoltle flavored meal worm. Now I like to think I'm fairly fearless when it comes to food, so of course, I extended my hand to accept this new little morsel and got two for my troubles. I handed one to Torryn and popped the other in my mouth and you know what? It wasn't bad. Sort of a cross between a potato chip and a sunflower seed. *Yes, I do realize I made you a little queasy and I'm not even sorry. So HA!* I did pass on the sour cream and onion flavored cricket though.

When we finally got to the point where we could no longer have our strollers, Torryn surprised me by continuing to patiently wait her turn and remained in good spirits the whole time. We looked at all sorts of bugs, including an Australian stick bug which made me feel all creepy crawly. It was so neat to see her so very interested in all the new things we were seeing and before I knew it, it was our turn to enter the Hidden Jungle.

It's freaking muggy in there! No joke, my hair went nuts and I was regretting not bringing an elastic to pull it back, but those regrets faded as I watched hundreds of butterflies flitting carelessly around our heads. They were everywhere! There was even on hopping along the ground, which delighted Torryn to no end. She wouldn't stay still long enough to have one land on her, but she kept pointing them out and asking them to come back in her sweet little voice when they'd fly away from her.

Before to long, it was time for us to leave. We did the special butterfly spin to ensure we didn't have any stowaways trying to follow us home and we left. T had a great time exploring the rest of the park. We went to see the brand new baby elephant and the lazy lions before grabbing an ice cream and heading home. I'm already looking forward to going back next year.

Just For Megan

2010-04-15T17:53:00.000-07:00

So my awesome friend, Megan, just told me I won something. so I go running to her blog and she has this awesome post listing 10 truths about herself. She says I have to do it too... so here I go.

The rules are that I need to share ten honest things about myself with all of you, and then award ten of my favorite bloggers. I'm fairly certain I'll fail on the 10 blogs, but meh... here we go.

1. I love to cook... If I could cook all day and never had to clean up the mess, I would in a heartbeat. I have very little fear when it comes to food and like that I can make my family something wholesome and relatively healthy to eat without spending a mint.

2. I love my kids more than life. They are the very reason I feel I was put on this Earth. I pour every ounce of my being into making sure they know just how much that I love them.

3. I struggle with my inner hippie. I cloth diaper, recycle, reduce and reuse... but there is this internal war going on in my mind with the person I am and the hippie who wants to break free. I want so badly to go live on a commune and raise everything we eat and leave no carbon footprint, but know my limits and thus, the war will continue.

4. I'm addicted to all things David Bowie. I know.. I'm a geek, but I have this fangirly reaction to the man and the music he makes. I do try to tone it down, so as to appear relatively normal, but meh... sometimes that takes to much effort.

5. I find it really hard to make and friends. And that makes me feel like such a loser. I love people, want to have strong and sound relationships, but it doesn't always seem to work out the way I plan. I adore the friends I have and would do anything for them and am so glad they're in my life. They're the family I always wished I had.

6. I'm incredibly insecure sometimes. I don't try to be, I do everything I can to remain positive... and it works, most of the time. But man, when I'm low, I'm low and that's usually when cupcakes magically appear out of my oven. Cupcakes always make you smile.

7. I very much want another child... Not that 3 wonderful children and 1 awesome step-child aren't enough, but we've done such a great job with these 4 fabulous children, we have no reason to think another wouldn't be as awesome as the siblings who came before? We're struggling with infertility and some would say there's a reason for that... that maybe we should just quite while we're ahead, but I have this tugging on my heart by someone who's not yet here and I can't imagine being ok with not doing what we can to have another baby.

8. I ate a meal worm today at the Wild Animal Park... No really, I did. It was dry roasted and I believe chipotle flavored. Tasted like a spicy potato chip and you know what? I'd do it again... Yep, I would. I totally chickened out on the sour cream and onion cricket though. *shudder* It had LEGS!

9. I have this not so secret dream of returning to Japan. I can't quite explain the draw, except to say that it was home and we were happy and we'd love the chance to go back. I find myself dreaming these vivid dreams of the house we'd live in if we were to go back. LOL I never thought the idea of living in another country would appeal to meek and mildly skittish me. But it does!

10. I'm afraid of clowns. Just am. Anyone who has to wear that much makeup to get kids to flock to them has issues. Just saying.

and now for blogs I read like mad:
Megan
Jen
Jamie
Cyn
Sako
Em
Vicki
Cristin
Jenn
Melissa

HA! I have 10. WOOT!

I Ain't Afraid Of No Ghosts

2010-04-12T09:39:00.000-07:00

Or at least, not ghosts drawn in pink chalk upon my window.

At least, I think it's a ghost. Rather looks like Pinky from the Pac-Man game, don't you think? I'm not quite sure what Torryn was thinking about, but I can say that I'm very glad it was done in chalk and not in sharpie marker. I will admit I failed to keep 100% of my attention on her long enough for her to get this work of art completed, but meh, I can't drum up the required mom-i-tude to be upset with her. Especially since it was removed from the window with a wipe of the cloth.

Summer Is Almost Here

2010-04-10T19:16:00.000-07:00

And that means it's time for swimsuits!!! YAY!!! Seriously, I love bathing suits on little toddlers. Their little pot bellies and pudgy little legs and their sweet little backs all getting a healthy dose of Vitamin D from Mr. Sun. Thursday was especially warm, so I broke out the water table, the remaining plastic Easter eggs and T's swimsuit and we had ourselves a splash party of epic proportions.

Right before tossing them in to see them make a splash

I'm fairly certain her goal was to sink every egg in the water

Taking a break to sit in the sun and blow some bubbles

Soon, summer will be in full swing and it's likely T will wear little else but a swimsuit as the sun beats down overhead. While I'm not an avid fan of the heat, I'll enjoy every moment this summer.

Easter

2010-04-05T19:04:00.000-07:00

The Easter Bunny arrived at our house bright and early Easter morning bearing gifts. Torryn still isn't quite aware of holidays, so upon waking, she was in no big rush to go downstairs. In fact, it took quite a bit of coaxing. But, upon laying eyes on her basket, her appreciation for the day grew immensely.

The Easter Bunny bearing gifts

Nothing like a little chocolate bunny to start your morning, no? I'm not one to devour a piece of chocolate first thing upon waking, but meh... Once isn't going to kill her. T had a great time pawing through her basket. Her favorite things out of everything were the handmade ice cream sandwich and the apple someone tirelessly crocheted for her. *wink*

She looks so grown up in this picture! *sniffle*

After the basket was eptied of it's goodies and we'd managed to get dressed for the day, I attempted (unsuccessfully) to get a picture of Torryn in her adorable ice cream outfit. She promptly told me she was "All done, mama!" and so I acquiesced to her request and we set about preparing brunch in preps for her Grandma's visit. Well, I prepared, Torryn, quite happily, played on the floor with a wooden spoon, a whisk and a metal bowl. We make beautiful music together in the kitchen.

We hadn't actually planned on having an egg hunt this year. With Dan deployed and T being so young, I almost decided to skip it. Especially considering we do not exactly have the most gorgeous yard with endless places to hide the colorful nuggets. But, how can I deny T a tradition I looked forward to every year? So, I sucked it up and set about hiding a few eggs for her to find. And let me tell you, find them she certainly did.

Egg Huntress Extrodinaire!

Torryn was a maniac! She found every egg, even the ones I hid really well. She rand through our patio, biscuit in hand and took each egg, one by one, back to her basket. Each time she found one, she'd exclaim "There it is!" with a huge smile on her face. It was such an awesome time and I'm so glad we shared this moment together. Next year, I'm defintely hiding them in harder to find places.

Happy Easter!!!

The Art of Napping

2010-04-03T14:30:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm not going to sugar coat things, ever since the switch from crib to toddler bed, Torryn has been an AWFUL napper. It used to be easy, I take her upstairs after reading a book and put her in the crib, she'd roll over on her belly and that was it. No muss, no fuss. And then, she crawled out of her crib and naptime has been a battle ever since.

Now, when I put her in her bed, she instantly jumps up, screaming and runs to the door. She then spends countless minutes beating on the door and throwing a tantrum before falling asleep, on the floor. I'm quite amazed the cops or animal control haven't been called out, as it sounds like I'm torturing some big, hairy beast everyday around 1pm. It has been emotionally taxing for us both and I had even considered just not putting her down, but frankly, I'm not ready to lose my personal time in the middle of the day. So, I've carried on in hope that she'd magically get it through her head that 2 year olds have to nap.

Which brings me to yesterday. We had just finished lunch as that new and ever increasing sense of dread started to come over me. Naptime was soon approaching and there is just no getting used to the drama it brings. I sat with T and read her a book and could feel her little heart start to beat faster and her little whimpers that indicated she knew exactly what was coming. Then I steeled myself as I spoke the words, "Torryn, it's naptime.".

She kicked, she cried, she lashed out, I was tense, upset and on the verge of tears when I realized she was still holding on to her puzzle pieces she hastily grabbed in her futile attempt to run away from me. I realized there was just no way she was going to let them go, so I grabbed the whole puzzle and her and made haste for her bedroom. I put her in the bed, set the puzzle beside her and left the room and heard NOTHING.

Seriously, nothing.

20 minutes later, I crept back upstairs, opened the door and found this.

Seems the art of napping is much like a puzzle, you just have to keep trying the pieces until they fit.

Keeping Busy

2010-03-29T14:03:00.000-07:00

Today's Project: Paper Chains

I'm really a "Glass is Half Full of Awesome" sort of person, not going to lie. Though sometimes that is hard, I will be damned if I can't turn a negative into a postive. This is probably why I am really good at this whole deployment thing. Yes, Dan is gone and yes, we absolutely miss him, BUT life will carry on whether we like it or not and not having fun or making the most out of every day just isn't an option.

So, since life is going to go on, so shall we and that means finding ways to keep busy. The day after Dan left, we did just that by making a paper chain. I cut eleventy-billion pieces of paper into strips, took a very deep breath and then handed Torryn a glue stick. She did surprisingly well, keeping the glue mostly on the paper and only a tiny bit in her hair. She thought it was great fun to pretend it was a snake, complete with hissing sounds.

My ultimate goal was to get enough chains to make a decent countdown once we know when Dan will actually be home. She isn't quite old enough to really get it, but the prospect of actually being allowed to tear paper should definitely appeal to her. But this project had some added bonuses. 1) we got to talking more about our colors and shapes and 2) we were able to talk more about snakes and where they live and what they do and 3) we just had a ton of fun. Can't really ask for much more, right?

And So It Begins Again

2010-03-28T07:37:00.000-07:00

Blowing bubbles one last time before heading to the airport

Yesterday, we had the distinct displeasure of seeing Dan off on his deployment. It was heartwrenching, as it always is, and tears were shed and whisperings of love were given and then... he was gone. On his way to Japan for however long the Navy says he need to be there and we are left in his stead to carry on.

I was uncertain what kind of effect his departure would have on T. Last year at this time, she was far to young to understand that he was leaving and while she was upset, she was easily distractable. Thankfully, while tears were shed and she cried for her daddy, she calmed down enough to say "Daddy hareplane" to the first jet she saw and came away without to much drama.

This morning was hard, T woke up and the first thing out of her mouth was "Daddy". It choked me up and we cuddled together and played with her "Daddy Bear" and talked about where Daddy is and why. I know the words are mostly for me, but I hope she is absorbing some of what I'm saying. I read her the email he sent letting us know how much we're missed already and we smiled remembering just what an awesome guy we have in our lives

So, the countdown has begun yet again. We love you, Dan. Stay safe.

Torryn's 2nd Birthday Party

2010-03-21T16:15:00.000-07:00

What is a birthday without the birthday party! The theme for this year's party was "Where The Wild Things Are", my favorite and now Torryn's favorite book. There is something magical about that book, from the jungle that sprouts to life in Max's room, to the journey in his little sailboat and of course, the wild rumpus. I thought it would be a perfect fit for Torryn's party and as it turns out, I was right!

The best part of this party was figuring out just how to decorate.

The cake

Created by Amy Ortiz at http://www.sugarnspicesd.com/

Max and a Wild Thing guarding the goody bags

I made them both out of a large tube mailer

Banner inspired by my sweet friend Vi and made by my awesome friend Megan

The big event!

All in all, it was a great party. The cake was fabulous, the candy was plentiful and the kids had a blast playing together. It was totally worth the effort. I wish to thank everyone who came to help us celebrate Torryn's birthday. It wouldn't have been a party without you.

And Then She Was Two

2010-03-19T00:00:00.000-07:00

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Dear Torryn,

Thank you for yet another wonderful year. On this very special day, I look at you and my heart just fills with love, joy and admiration. Your ready smile, melodic laughter and utter sweetness make each and every day more fun than the one that came before. It is amazing to watch you grow and learn and see that budding sense of mischief and sense of humor kicking in full force. One just has to spend a moment with you to realize just how very lucky they are to get a chance to stand in the rays of your sunshine.

In your eyes, I see promise. Promises of more love and laughter, more hugs and cuddles, more peace and contentment. I also see the promise of future battles, as you're very determined to carve your own path in the world. Your keen sense of independence is amazing and frustrating to behold, but I have to admit... I love every moment. I cannot wait to watch you decide who you want to be and how you're going to make it happen.

I hope that you'll always remember just how much fun it is to splash in puddles. I hope you'll always enjoy getting lost in the pages of a story and how great great it feels to have the wind rush through your hair. I hope you'll always stop and remember the wonder that is the world around you. But most of all, I hope you'll never forget that we will always love you and are so grateful to have you in our lives.

Happy birthday, my sweet baby girl. You're simply amazing. It is hard for me to comprehend just how we got this far. It seems like only yesterday I was hearing you cry for the first time and feeling the warmth from your little body against my own as we were reintroduced after your rather rocky entrance into this world. How you grew from that tiny, perfect little infant into this amazing child is simply magic and franklly, everyone deserves to have a little magic in their lives.

Times, They Are A Changin'

2010-03-17T22:32:00.000-07:00

There comes a time in every parent's journey that inspires dread, anxiety and emotional upset... the transition to the "Big Gir/Boy" bed. You wonder if you'll ever sleep again, knowing the pitter patter of little feet finding all sorts of things to get into could happen at any moment during the night whilst you blissfully sleep completely unaware. You worry your child will fall out of bed, thus creating chaos and confusion and even injury. You may even entertain the idea that this transition not only means a LOT of adjustment, but the end of an era. No longer will you have a sweet baby who sleeps innocently in their crib. No, this transition means you're declaring defeat in your war with time to keep your baby a... well, a baby.

Today, these emotions all whirled around our household, because after 2 years of her staying confined in her crib, Torryn decided to show us her Houdini tendencies. We were settling in to various activities when she surprised us all by coming down the stairs. The last time we had seen her, she was in her crib, so of course, we had to investigate. We took her back upstairs and plopped her back in her crib and sat down and waited. After a few minutes of tears, Torryn neatly hoisted herself up and over the highest part of her crib and walked to my open arms as if she had been doing this forever. That was the only cue needed... It was obvious that she needed a "Big Girl" bed.

After much thought, we decided to skip a nap today, the whole concept of the bed was to new and we figured the more tired she was at bedtime, the better. We carried on as normal, went to the park, played in the back yard and ate dinner and it was evident that she was ready for bed at 7:30. We carried on with our normal routing and then took that big first step and put her in her bed and walked away.

OY! You'd have thought we were killing her! What happened to my sweet girl that would just rest her head and go to sleep? Now, in her stead, I have this hysterical child knocking on the door and begging for help. I wanted to hang my head in shame and run to her and tell her everything would be alright... And I did after a while. She needed that reassurance as much as I did and though she went right back to crying after I put her back in her bed, eventually it fell quiet.

When I crept up the stairs and opened her door, I was sure I was going to find her asleep on the floor in front of the door, but instead found this.

All curled up with her "man-tee".

I can only hope things will get better, because I'm not sure how much more my heart can take.

A Shannie Classic: Chocolate Chip Cookies

2010-03-13T16:16:00.000-08:00

Is there anything more perfect than a chocolate chip cookie? I mean, really? Let's think about this seriously for just a moment. The sweet hint of molasses from the brown sugar, the hint of salty sweetness and let us not forget... THE CHOCOLATE!!! Oy! I am just a fool for this American cookie standard.

I tend to prefer a chewier, more cakey cookie. It's a personal preference, people. The "crisp" factor has it's place in the cookie world, just not in my ideal chocolate chip cookie. I also don't like to feel grease on my fingers while I'm enjoying my "not so healthy" snack. So the best way to achieve both a chewy and not overly greasy cookie is to just cut down on the butter. It's not all that great for you any way, and really... by omiting just a 1/4 cup, you can delude yourself into thinking they're not ALL that terrible for you and you can just go ahead and eat that second, third, fourth cookie without that side order of guilt. Sub out half of that all purpose flour for whole wheat and you have yourself a veritable health food delight. hehe

Ok, so enough of my rambling, here is my recipe for the perfect chocolate chip cookie

3/4 unsalted butter

1 cup light brown sugar, packed

1/2 cup granulated sugar

2 eggs

2 tsp. vanilla extract

1 cup white whole wheat flour (no that's not a typo, I do, in fact, mean WHITE whole wheat)

1 1/4 cup all purpose flour

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp kosher salt

1 cup bittersweet chocolate chips

1 cup 60% cocao chips

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and line your cookie sheets with parchment.

Mix the flour, baking soda and salt together in a bowl and set aside.

In your mixer, cream the butter and sugars together until lightened in color. Beat in eggs and vanilla and then gradually add in the flour mixture. Once that's all combined, stir in the chocolate chips and load up your cookie sheets. I prefer my 2 tbs sized cookie scoop, but if you like bigger cookies, by all means, have at it.

In MY oven, these bake to perfection in about 10 minutes. Remove the cookies to a cooling rack and try to keep your hands off them until the chocolate has cooled enough that it won't burn the heck out of your tongue.

Rainy Day Fun

2010-03-07T20:12:00.000-08:00

I love the rain and we just don't get enough of it here in Sunny San Diego. Growing up, rainy days meant we got to just chill inside in our jammies, do arts and crafts, watch movies and enjoy some much needed down time. Now that I'm the mommy, I try to continue that tradition with gusto.

Over the last 2 days, we've been holed up inside from the rain drops and in between cuddling on the couch, making forts under the coffee table and reading more books than I can even mention, we managed a couple of new activities that were a HUGE hit with Torryn.

First up, our sensory bowl. Since we're smack dab in the midst of March, I decided to honor our Irish roots and poured some dried peas and navy beans into a bowl and buried some hidden treasure just for good measure. (<--haha, I'm a poet!) I handed Torryn a small bowl and a spoon and she brought along her favorite toy of the day (a paint brush) and we enjoyed scooping and pouring and finding what was once hidden.

Since it was raining even more today, we broke out the messy stuff. Paint!!!! I've been cautious wtih Torryn and painting for a while now. Every now and again, she'll try to take a taste of those gorgeously colored pools of goo. But, I felt fairly safe with this activity because she didn't have to touch anything but the tub in which we painted. All that's required are a few choice colors of washable paint, a handful of bouncy balls, some paper and a plastic tub.

All in all, it was a wonderful couple of days and if it rains tomorrow, we'll sort out some more fun things to do around the house. Just goes to show you, being bored is a state of mind. There is always something fun to do with a little imagination.

No Thanks, I'm Full

2010-03-01T07:38:00.000-08:00

There are days in my life I should have NO contact with the outside world. It's on these days that I can't seem to keep my foot out of my mouth and tromp through people's feelings like an elephant in the wild. I don't know exactly what comes over me, I'm normally VERY careful about what comes out of my mouth. I live in fear of offending anyone, but then I'll have one of those days and I'll spend the rest of my time dwelling on my misstep. Yesterday was one of those days.

So if you're one of the victims of my "Foot-In-Mouth" syndrome, just know that I feel like an ass. I am a fairly funny person, but everyone is entitled to a joke falling flat on occasion. I won't lie and say it won't happen again, because it likely will. But at least know tht should it happen, I'll be far more upset with myself than you could imagine.

iLove

2010-02-12T18:47:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day... A day to remember those we love. Why? Because the greeting card/candy/flower/jewelry people tell us, that's why! And while that may be why the day is celebrated by the masses, I choose to keep the tradition because, sometimes, we all need to stop a moment and remember that those we love and love us back deserve a day to be told how very much their love and support truly matters.

This Valentine's Day, I'll be honoring my husband, my children and my friends and family. Though we may not all be together, our love is big enough to bridge the miles.

Dan, I love you because you make me laugh. You put up with me when I get the crazies and you're always ready to give me a hug when I need one. Watching you grow as a husband and father every day fills me with joy.

Ashley, you little booger. I love you because you're growing into a smart, insightful woman. You never fail to amaze me with your ever growing maturity and your silly sense of humor.

Carter, I love you to pieces. I wish I could see and hold you every day and remind you of how very special you are. You're growing into such an amazing young man and I cherish every moment we get to spend together, whether on the phone or in person. I miss you like crazy.

Saydie, my sweet little energizer bunny. You never tire and I look at you sometimes in awe wondering when you'll ever run out of energy. You fill my heart with laughter and I love you more than cupcakes... even chocolate cupcakes, just in case you were wondering.

Torryn, my precious little Torryn-ado. Your fascination with exploring every single thing you see is both wonderful to witness and a learning experience. I feel life I'm growing and learning right along with you. Every day is an adventure. I cherish the feel of your little arms as they wrap around my neck and the sweet smell of your skin when you snuggle your head into the crook of my neck. I love every minute I am blessed with your presence.

Friends, your never ending support and love gets me through the darkest of days and helps me be the person I truly want to be. Each and every one of you has immeasurably added something wondering to my life and I love you all. Thank you for everything and I only hope I can repay you all for the wonderful things you've brought into my life.

New Children's Museum

2010-02-04T13:56:00.000-08:00

We had the distinct pleasure of being invited to the New Children's Museum in downtown this morning. To say we had fun would be an understatement... We had a BLAST! There were so very many neat things to see and do. And trust me, we did just about all of them.

We found these almost by accident. They were behind another exhibit in a tiny walkway.

Torryn mastered the obstacle course quickly.

Especially considering she has never liked the bounce house before.

A day without bubbles is not a day that includes spending time with Torryn.

She loved the free thinking toys... though to her, they were just "hats!"

(My favorite thing about this picture is her little belly peeking out)

Hmmmm, wonder what this switch does?

These are only a few of the pictures I took, but there was so many things I couldn't get a picture of before we rushed off to find fun in another direction. I think we'll be going back very soon.

The Rainbow Connection

2010-01-30T14:42:00.000-08:00

One thing you can always count on seeing in a home with young children is broken crayons. At least, they're plentiful in our home. Years ago, I bought Saydie a box of 120 crayola crayons and over the years, we've managed to turn those 120 crayons into elevnty-billion pieces. Pieces that do nothing but endlessly frustrate the kids as they inevitably grow smaller and smaller. But me, I don't get frustrated, nope.. I know these tiny pieces of crayon can be revived and the process is fun, free and results in an awesome toddler friendly item.

That's right, I melt them down and make new crayons... Hold the applause, I know I'm awesome. Don't have to shout your adoration. hehe, just kidding. But, for those of you who may be curious, this is how I did it.

1) You need eleventy-billion broken bits of crayon, 1 mini muffin tin, paper liners and your oven, which has been convienently pre-heated to 225 degrees.

2) Line your muffin tin and sort out your crayons. I'd suggest doubling up on the liners, the wax can leak through the paper. This is fun for the kids, because they can make whatever combo their little heart desires. This is what our latest batch looked like pre-melt.

3) Pop that tin into your oven for about 15-20 minutes. This is what ours looked like all melty and awesome.

4) Go outside to play and let those bad boys cool off and solidify. This doesn't take near as long as you'd think, but going out to play keeps curious fingers from poking at the crayons.

5) Pop the crayons out of their little paper prisons and admire the rainbows you made.

These nifty round crayons are Torryn Approved. They're harder to break in half, color just as well as they did before and don't roll off the table.

Rainy Days

2010-01-19T11:07:00.000-08:00

Rain = Arts and Crafts. We don't get rain very often, but when we do, it's all about finding ways to keep my little Tornado occupied and today I had the awesome (read as insane) idea to give T stickers in hopes of making some adorable Valentine's Day cards for friends and family.

It's all about concentration

Being VERY good about keeping those stickers on the paper

T's handiwork. Aren't they cute?

Even mommy got into the crafty spirit

This is the very first art project in which I've ever let her completely take the reigns. I have to admit, I'm really impressed at how well she listened and really enjoyed spending an hour creating her little pink and sparkly creations. I'm so looking forward to trying new and fun things with her.

Gyoza

2009-12-31T16:55:00.000-08:00

When Dan was stationed in Japan, we did what most people do in a foriegn land... We ATE! LOL Trying different foods and figuring out what we loved the best was a fun way to pass the time in between site-seeing and work. One of our favorite foods was gyoza, or potstickers... whatever floats your boat.

Now it's not that we'd never had gyoza before, but it somehow just tasted more awesome whilst in Japan. When we moved back home, we sort of just shrugged our shoulders and figured we'd probably not be eating it quite as often... And then, we were invited to a friend's house for New Year's Eve and that all changed.

I'm not one to ever go somewhere empty handed, it's just not how I was raised. So I sat and wondered for a good long while trying to think of the perfect thing to take. At first, I figured I would just make some mini spanakopita. It's always a crowd pleaser. And then, at the store, I noticed just about all the items needed for gyoza were on sale, so I regrouped and off I went with grand visions of perfectly cooked gyoza dancing through my head.

Then I got home and googled a few recipes. They all sounded great, but basic and so I just decided to wing it. I set about chopping cabbage, green onions and grating garlic, ginger and carrot. cooked some ground pork in a skillet with some toasted sesame oil and soy sauce and 30 minutes and one destroyed kitchen later, I began to cook.

I coated the bottom of my heavy bottomed dutch oven with toasted sesame oil, laid 12 gyoza on the bottom and cooked for a minute before flipping them over, tossing in 1/4 cup water and slamming the lid down on those bad boys to let them steam for a few minutes. What came out were tender little purses of awesome! I've saved half the batch to serve with dinner before heading over to the night's festivities.

Gyoza:

1 lb ground pork

2 cups cabbage, chopped super fine

5 green onions, chopped

1/3 cup grated carrot

1 inch ginger, grated

1 clove garlic, grated

2 tbs soy sauce

1/2 tsp pepper

1 tbs mirin

2 tbs toasted sesame oil, divided

1/4 cup water

1 package gyoza or wonton wrappers

toss all your veggies into a large bowl and set aside. In a hot pan, coat the bottom with oil and brown the pork. Toss in the mirin, pepper and soy sauce as it cooks and mix well. Transfer pork to a food processor and pulse until fine. Toss the pork mixture into the veggies and toss well.

Place a wrapper in your hand and spoon in 1 tbs of filling, wet one edge and fold over and make pretty little pleats. In a hot pan with a lid, coat the bottom with the remaining sesame oil and cook the gyoza for 1 minute, flip and then, with lid in hand, pour on the water and close the lid. Allow the water to cook off before removing the gyoza from the pan.

I serve these with either ponzu sauce or soy sauce with a dash of rice vinegar.

New Year's Resolutions

2009-12-30T19:00:00.000-08:00

There is just something about swiftly rushing to the end of the year. The holidays are very nearly all behind us, we're all still paritally drunk on the good spirits brought about by Christmas, time spent with family and friends and the promise of a brand spanking new year is on the horizon. Everything seems to hold the promise of new and wonderful things and you get misty remembering all the sweet moments of the past 365 days.

And then, during this huge influx of thought and emotion, introspection comes flooding in. What did you do over the course of the past year that could be overhauled, revamped or completely stopped to improve your life in the course of the next year? Could you stand to improve your diet and your health? What about stopping a bad habit, like smoking, drinking, over-spending? Or perhaps, you'd like to be more generous to those around you? The possibilities are seemingly endless

It can be an incredibly daunting task, this trying to resolve to become a better person. Set your sights to high and you'll doom yourself to failure and frustration, but set them to low and well... that's not really much of a change, now is it. Or, you can just ignore it all together. Personal growth is for suckers, right? WRONG! Or, at least in my opinion.

As we say good-bye to 2009 and welcome 2010, I've decided to commit to slowing down. I spend so much of my time trying to stay busy, I often feel that I'm focusing on the wrong things. Life should be about taking the time to remember those things that are important. The sweet belly laughs of my little baby girl, my wonderful witty son and incredibly energetic daughter, the quiet strength of my husband and the affable personality of my step-daughter. It's these things I'm choosing to focus on this new year. Not the latest trends or celebrity gossip and overall angst of the world around. Just the love of and for my family.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T23:04:00.000-08:00

Christmas Morning, oh what a joyful frevor of laughs, giggles and the makings of memories, this morning brings. Bright and early this morning, Torryn woke us up with "Memememe meme" which is Torryn-ese for "Merry Christmas" and we jumped up to watch Torryn experience Christmas as only a 21 month old could. Though Torryn isn't quite old enough to fully comprehend, I think the following picture speaks volumes.

Santa brought Torryn a playhouse.She was ELATED to move in.

Checking out the goodies in her stocking. New bath stickers, a T-rex ornament, a wooden train and a tiny bit of Christmas chocolate.

Baking us some loverly treats... Tasted a bit like wood. Shh, don't tell her.

Why yes, yes this does look like a precarious situation. Please sleep easily knowing that no stuffed animals were hurt in the course of Christmas morning.

Our goal for Christmas was to keep it small and slow and thankfully, we managed to do just that. Our presents were more about quality than quantity, instead focusing on the true meaning of the day. Spending time with one another, enjoying good food, great times and creating new memories. It felt wonderful to focus on the family, rather than on the presents. I think we'll repeat this excercise every year. It's good for the soul.

It is so hard to imagine that we've only a week of 2009 left before we usher in a brand spanking new year. As I sat on the floor experiencing Christmas through the wide eyes of Torryn, I felt calm and at peace. I'm so looking forward to the new adventures ahead of us and loving all the awesome memories we've made this past year.

Merry Christmas. I hope your day was full of love, laughter and family and that you cherished every moment spent together.

It Wouldn't Be Christmas

2009-12-21T18:36:00.000-08:00

Without the obligatory picture with Santa.

Now I won't lie, Torryn was NOT the happiest camper about this situation. We had previously taken her for a "Meet & Greet" which went really well, but the next day, she clung to Dan like a burr and wouldn't go near Santa. I was sad, as she was dressed up so cute in her gingerbread outfit, but I wasn't going to push the issue. A combination of a child who is coming down with croup (didn't know that until later that day) and some stranger anxiety, does not a pretty picture and wonderful memory make.

Today was the first day Torryn felt remotely like her old self. She spent most of the morning yelling "Outyide!!! Yet Go!!! and "Me me me MEMEMEME", which is Torryn-ese for "Merry Christmas", so when the opportunity presented itself, we pounced. Maybe it was the Christmas Spirit filling the air or maybe we were just riding the high from the ride around the mall on the little train, but something was really working in our favor.

It didn't matter a lick that she wasn't all decked out in her Christmas best or that her hair wasn't perfectly done. All that mattered was that, though she was extremely wary, she walked right up to Santa and let him pick her up and that she sat on his lap with a death grip on the proffered candycane and that her nose was mostly snot free. The photgrapher was super patient and Santa whispered sweet words of Christmas into her ear and the above picture is the result. It may not be a smile, but it's def a fabulous Christmas memory that we can look back upon.

Just Because She's Cute

2009-12-14T22:04:00.000-08:00

Torryn, what can I write here that will even come close to doing justice to her mirth, laughter and sweetness. As she grows up, I find myself wistful for the sweet little baby she was and utterly awed at the awesome little girl she is becoming. Torryn's ready smile, sweet laughter and silly sense of humor are all I need to feel content.

Lately, Torryn has become quite the mimic. If she sees you doing something, well then she must attempt to do it too. Whether it's making silly faces, dancing or even something as completely mundane as sweeping or cooking turns into a fun game of "Monkey See, Monkey Do".

I was laying on the floor to take a picture, so T decided to follow suit

Torryn was very interested in her potty the other day, so we sat with her and let her sit on the potty, sang her a potty song and talked to her about the potty. Not 5 minutes later, we found her deeply engrossed in a conversation with her polar bear about the potty. Good to know she's passing on the knowledge.

Now this isn't so much a copy of anything we've done, but she has decided that she should probably grow up to be one of those old wind up monkey toys or the Energizer Bunny, because this girl can crash the symbols (read as the lids to my pots and pans) for hours.

And this last picture, well... This picture is here just because she's cute. Watching her grow up is magic and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

It's The Simple Things...

2009-12-08T14:39:00.000-08:00

That make you smile, there is no doubt.

This year has been hard, not going to lie. So very many things have happened, some major, some not so major. There have been days where I've really had to search my very core to find some positive note on which to hold with dear life. Here's a little glimpse of one of those little postive notes.

If there is anything on this earth more heartwarming than children laughing, I dare you to show it to me. Torryn and E had a BLAST this chilly, overcast morning with nothing more than a bottle only 1/3 full of bubble solution and my itty bitty patio.

Thanksgiving Feasting

2009-11-28T23:53:00.001-08:00

Though we celebrated a day late, Thanksgiving was just about everything I could have ever wanted in a holiday.

As I reflect back on the year, the things that come to mind first are all the wonderful memories we've made as the days have gone by. We moved (again), the kids grew taller and Torryn has brough such joy to our lives. We've weathered a deployment with grace and patience and having learned new lessons about ourselves. We've faced the trials thrown at us head on and have triumphed, in one way or another....

Yep, I'd say that's one hell of a long list of things to be thankful for, don't you?

For This I Am Thankful

2009-11-26T13:24:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is here again and though we won't be celebrating until tomorrow, it is only natural to reflect on everything for which I am thankful:

I'm thankful for the 4 wonderful children with which I've been blessed;

I'm thankful for my husband, my very best friend in the world;

I'm thankful for my daddy, who loves me even though I'm a pain in the butt;

I'm thankful for my Gran, still a tall glass of awesome at age 84;

I'm thankful for my friends both in real life and online;

I'm thankful for being chubby, not always fun, but a good reminder we always have food to eat; and last but not remotely the least,

I'm thankful for this life, hard and trying though it sometimes seems. There's no better way to keep one focused on the small gifts in life than having to travel down a long and hard road.

Happy Thanksgiving. I hope your holiday is filled with love, laughter, great food and family.

Where Is Torryn?

2009-11-22T11:09:00.001-08:00

OO, I think I see something in the cabniet!
A-HA!

There she is!

BBA Challenge: Cornbread

2009-11-13T19:17:00.001-08:00

I thought I had already had the world's best cornbread... And then I made this one!

This formula was an odd one. It seems simple at first glance, just corn meal, flour, sugar, brown sugar, honey, eggs, buttermilk, butter and a decent helping of baking soda and powder. And then you scroll through the recipe and the very first step may make you take pause. Had you asked me a week ago if I'd ever consider soaking a cup of corn meal in a vat of room temperature buttermilk overnight I would have laughed. Even up until this came out of the oven, I remained skeptical. This afternoon as I glanced into the bowl, I shivered, because... well, because it looked gross. But again, I was surprised at how much flavor it really brought to the table.

The next step is to bake some bacon and crumple it up. Now, don't shoot me, but I have a confession to make. I'm not a huge fan of bacon. Don't get me wrong, it's good, in the right setting. But to much just ruins things for me. So when I saw this formula called for a whopping 10 pieces of the salty breakfast meat, I audibly groaned. I even thought I'd omit it completely, but you know what? I'm glad I didn't, but I did scale back the amount to a mere 4 pieces of bacon. I did omit the corn niblets originally called for, because I wanted Dan to actually eat this bread.

Once all that business was taken care of, I set about constructing the batter. I beat the eggs and added the honey and butter and then tipped in the rather ripe smelling buttermilk/corn meal mixture. Then I mixed in the dry ingredients and set about greasing my pan with... wait for it.... the residual bacon grease (scoffed at this a bit too, not going to lie) and then I poured in the batter and sprinkled on the bacon.

Thirty minutes later, I took out a perfectly golden pan of cornbread that made Dan smile. He even asked to take some to work tomorrow... if it lasts that long.

What Does A Train Say?

2009-11-12T15:14:00.000-08:00

Is there anything cuter than when your child says something for the first time? I think not! Torryn woke up from her nap today and the first thing we did was walk into the kitchen to get her a drink. I pulled her cup out of the cupboard and this is what happened next.

It literally almost killed me with the cuteness. She's never shown much interest in trains and we have, of course, told her what sounds a train makes, but not recently. So it was a sweet surprise to hear it come out of her mouth.

/Oh, and she totally threw in a bonus by showing me exactly what dogs say to the moon.

Turkey Time

2009-11-10T13:05:00.001-08:00

I love fall, this shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone. I love the that the days are shorter, the tempurature begins to cool and all the holidays that slam through the season. Now that Halloween is over *sniff*, I'm gearing up for Thanksgiving and what better way to get into the mood than to make some turkeys... Handprint Turkeys, that is.

Today, we got the added bonus of having both E and her big sister A come to play with us. I lined them up around the table and we set to work using our hands to trace out our turkeys.

A is displaying how festively colorful turkeys can really be if they set their minds to it. She had a total blast making sure her turkey was "Super Awesome".

Torryn was less than thrilled with this project at first, but after I got her hand traced out, she went straight to work making her turkey all sorts of pretty.

And there you have it! Three glorious turkeys all set and ready to march their way onto our respective Thankgiving tables.

BBA Challenge: Cinnamon Raisin Walnut Bread

2009-11-04T08:40:00.000-08:00

After taking what seems like a huge break, I'm back to the BBA Challenge with gusto. This week's bread was Cinnamon Raisin Walnut Bread and that is likely why it took me so long to get around to making this bread. See, I'm not a huge fan of raisins and walnuts together. Now I realize I could have just left the nuts out of the equation, but where's the fun in that? So after much hesitation, I decided to jump right in and I'm sooooo glad I did, as this bread is quite delicious and it looks fairly pretty as well.

And whilst I toiled away in the kitchen kneading this dough by hand (my Kitchen Aid is currently on strike), this following picture shows exactly what Torryn was doing. I'm not quite sure how she got the box of Cheez-its, but regardless, they were EVERYWHERE. She was a doll though and promptly displayed a sad look and decried "Oh NO!" and helped clean up.

Happy Halloween

2009-10-31T20:45:00.000-07:00

Hope your day was as awesome as ours!

Family Photos

2009-10-25T17:25:00.001-07:00

Taken by www.photosbylinda.net at Wind & Sea Beach in La Jolla, CA

Word of advice, when shooting on the beach on a dreary morning, don't.wear.flip flops. I had the misfortune of doing just that and ended up slipping and falling in algea and mud as we walked down the way to the beach where we'd be shooting. Thankfully, I contorted just enough that only my arse and a small portion of the back of my brand new, never worn before this morning shirt ended up covered in the sickly greenish, sandy mud.

I am so grateful the photos came out as well as they did. There are some hilarious shots of Torryn feeding me seaweed and throwing sand everywhere and some equally awesome shots of us as a family, incomplete though we may be. I really enjoyed our morning and am stoked at the shots with which we took home.